Who am I talking to? Who is anyone talking to? 

I went to Utah with Lesley and we saw her friends band play. I felt tired afterwards and I told her “I wish people would stop expressing themselves around me”.

And I knew that my head was the earth. 

And the earth suffers the disease of humans.

And as far as I am concerned the earth is the center of the cosmos. 

The earth is the center of the cosmos and I have never been to North Dakota. 

And when my dad explains time he claps very loud and then asks where the noise went.

My boyfriend told me once, I don’t think anyone else will fit in this room, your ego is taking up all the space. 

Surely they could squeeze I thought. 

Things don't affect me the way they used to. It is getting harder to remember the difference between affect and effect. Do the changes always feel so seismic? Do you wonder what I am doing? At night I have dreams that you are in the hospital. I am filled with purpose as I rush to the airport. I crawl into your bed in my boots and we sleep and sleep. We remember that we can't live alone and we sleep and sleep. 

To whom shall I detail my existence?

On Sunday there is a ladies brunch for my mom's birthday. She wants me to wear the red dress my dad got me for Christmas. This Christmas we went to my grandmother's apartment down in Ft. Myers. She was recently put on an oxygen tank so she can't go far. Everywhere she walks she is attached to a long green chord, so you can always find her. A transhumanist before her time, a transhumanist past her prime.