12/21/14

i wonder if your camera is on
i put on so much eyeliner and in the bathroom later notice it is all over my face
no one says anything
to me anymore
nothing real, right?

watch belief fade out of peoples eyes
breaking something in two to share it
again and again
until the pieces are so tiny
a crumb and a crumb
did you know you can only fold a sheet of paper in half
like eleven times or something

12/15/14

the light passing through the gauze of your skirt
is pink, and soft

you think about how all color is just light
doesn’t exist without light

about how hard it is
to pin anything down anymore

relativity, man

you wish anything was concrete
besides your hands

12/10/14

I remember being in Biology class in 9th grade and learning about atoms. And all my brain could think is that I was made of the exact same thing as the desks in the room. I remember I raised my hand and asked about that, twice.

I still know next to nothing about biology, but the few things I do allow my mind to wander and roll over ideas about simulations and supercomputing. I think about corporations and how each employee is a complex set of if-then statements. I think about how every cell in my body and every decision I make can be broken down into a series of yes's and no's, ones and zeroes. 

When you simplify things down to two (the answer to everything I am convinced) it makes you understand that humanity is on the verge of being eclipsed. Our capacity for processing without augmentation is limited. And it feels like we are about to break the ceiling with computers so big, they can process the yes's and no's that make up star systems in the time that you bite your lip to begin the thought. 

Oh it is all coming. 
And of course I see the altar. 

But for now, I am here. Grateful for the sound of Alabama's nails clacking on the porch as he stalks lizards, and for the wind blowing through the dozens of breeds of trees, and for understanding the sweet feeling of before; oh before before before.