You'll feel different in the morning.

jumbled thoughts from the morning after a Christmas party;

I can't ever capture the Florida sky

the colors can't be stolen by anything but eyes. 

I like that idea in some ways

no pictures at my wedding

"what's that kids name? upstairs?"

"Pat."

"I'm gonna finish this beer and I'm gonna punch pat in the face."

hiding bottles of vodka from the maniac

but still dancing dancing in my mothers gown

Aslan singing to impress Holly 

and Alabama wild from the night

driving up and hearing the music from down the street

them looking dead

harsh stubble on my hand, cupping his chin to pour water in

grateful confused

"no one has fun."

"i am an animal."

"john is an animal, yeah john is an animal too. you love animals?"

noidontthinkido. 

global babe

what do i always dream of?

a beach house i have never been too. summer vacation. board games and reading and before boys. my own adolescent head and time stretching out endlessly. no ambition. death to ambition. ambition is expectation and an unhealthy addiction for a depressed mind. 

ten million global babes waiting to eat your heart. 

my mom hung the sheets out to make them smell like sunshine. they smelled sticky like vodka and jeans and cigarettes. disappointed and at dinner, she didn't want her mother in law to see her cry. it is the same and it is stuck. a lack of revelations. like the earth stops spinning, a lack of revelations. 

i can't not participate unless i want to kill myself. 

the earth won't stop spinning. my heart won't stop beating. wal mart will never close. holy shit. wal mart might never close and still be open when i die. bury me in wal mart. it beat out my heart. eat out my heart.