Hearing Voices:
Tonight coming back from Brooklyn, I asked the driver to go back over the bridge. He was nice about it but asked several times to make sure that yes, I wanted to drive back over it and then back again. I hope it didn't seem disrespectful. I can't afford to be taking taxi's. I listened to a song a friend of mine wrote that kind of hurts to listen to, so I don't. When I went to a brain doctor once, she said to lean into bad feelings, prepare for them like an oncoming cold. It wasn't until the third time across that I got the toughest words to hear lined up with the smoothest, starriest part of the ride.
Les tells me she is learning that you don't keep escalating. That you hit a high point and roll back again. She is learning this from cancer patients, elders.
Any moment could be it. The moment you start to recede.
I hope it happens while I am brushing my teeth. Looking in the mirror and thinking about the Truman Show.
Death to Apathy, New York City, October, 2013
Tonight coming back from Brooklyn, I asked the driver to go back over the bridge. He was nice about it but asked several times to make sure that yes, I wanted to drive back over it and then back again. I hope it didn't seem disrespectful. I can't afford to be taking taxi's. I listened to a song a friend of mine wrote that kind of hurts to listen to, so I don't. When I went to a brain doctor once, she said to lean into bad feelings, prepare for them like an oncoming cold. It wasn't until the third time across that I got the toughest words to hear lined up with the smoothest, starriest part of the ride.
Les tells me she is learning that you don't keep escalating. That you hit a high point and roll back again. She is learning this from cancer patients, elders.
Any moment could be it. The moment you start to recede.
I hope it happens while I am brushing my teeth. Looking in the mirror and thinking about the Truman Show.
Death to Apathy, New York City, October, 2013
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